


Damn Bad Intentions

by hyucksie (renjunlite)



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:53:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26746192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renjunlite/pseuds/hyucksie
Summary: Yukhei always makes it clear that despite how frequently you fall into each other’s beds, he could never be yours. it’s an arrangement enough to sate both your needs, until hendery gets into the mix and shows what you’re missing. yukhei isn’t yours, yes, but he doesn’t like the bitter taste it leaves in his mouth knowing that you aren’t his either.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/OC, Qian Kun/OC, Wong Kun Hang | Hendery/Reader, Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas/OC, Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas/Reader, Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun/OC
Comments: 23
Kudos: 57





	Damn Bad Intentions

Wong Yukhei likes to fuck around, no feelings involved. But if he’s being honest, there’s only one (1) girl he could truly admit that he loves.

And hell if it’s you.

“Good girl,” he cooes at the beagle snuggling up to his chest. “Who’s the only good girl for me? It’s you, Bella! My pretty, pretty baby.”

“Okay, that’s just fucking disturbing.” He glances up to you leaning against the kitchen counter, raising his eyebrows in question before his gaze travels from your messy hair to the bra strap left exposed by your wide neckline. “Pretty sure you said those exact same words to me at one point last night.”

“I didn’t, but I did call you my dirty slut, my personal whore, my cum—”

“Jesus fuck. Shut up before I choke on a damn cornflake.” Kun complains from his seat next to Yukhei, muttering something about nasty fuckers under his breath.

Your smile tips to one side as you enjoy Kun’s easy frustration. “Do not say the name of the lord your god in vain,” you tease, pitch curling sickeningly at the end. 

Yukhei copies your smirk, tilting his head slightly to the side as he gives you a quizzical look, “Hypocrite. As if last night you weren’t—”

“Don’t even fucking think about it,” Kun cuts him off. “It’s enough that I had to hear everything through these thin ass walls.” Yukhei snorts at the mention of “thin ass,” making Kun raise a threatening fork in his direction. 

Confusion draws on your face at the sight. “Why are you eating cereal with a fork?”

“Because no one washes the fucking spoons in this house!” Kun lifts an exasperated arm to point at the full sink. “Because who gives a shit about house rules!” Ah, yes. The famously ignored house rules of Pi Kappa Lambda—or Pikes, as everyone calls it. “And speaking of rules, you know I hate you the least but you really gotta go.” You roll your eyes. 

House Rule No. 9, the most notorious, most broken rule of all: “Chicks” can’t stay the night. 

Technically, you’ve already broken that rule. Hell, you’ve been sleeping over since freshman year when Yukhei didn’t even have a solo room yet. Now that you two are sophomores no one cared enough to complain, but being the president, Kun decided he would draw the line at staying over for breakfast.

You squint your eyes at the elder with futile intimidation. Huffing, you walk over to the table and grab one of Yukhei’s waffles from his plate before turning back to leave. 

“That’s Bella’s!” He protests with wide eyes. 

You stop in your tracks, giving him an icy look from over your shoulder. “What? She gets all the love and affection, I think she can at least spare me a waffle.” 

You turn back around as you hear the dragging sound of a chair against the floor. For a split second, you entertain the idea of Yukhei going after you. You hear quick footsteps, feeling a presence by your side.

It’s Kun, walking you to the door. As always.

“I know I keep telling you this, but you know how he is. What he does.” He pauses, hand on the door handle, “It’s never gonna be more than just sex.”

“What I said was a joke, Kun.” But you could argue that some jokes are half-meant.

“I’m just saying it’s likely someone’s gonna end up hurt, and I don’t think it’s gonna be him.” He sighs before continuing. “You know he doesn’t have anything but bad intentions.” 

You offer him a little smile. They’re all your friends at this point, but you wouldn’t go as far as saying any of these frat boys care for you like a brother. If there’s anyone who comes close though, it had to be Kun.

You shake your head, pulling the door open yourself and stepping one foot out, knowing full well you’ll be stepping right back in sooner than you’d like to admit. 

“Don’t worry about me,” you shrug, a lopsided smile on your lips. “It’s my full intention to give it all back to him, just as bad.”

* * *

“They kicked you out again,” Reiko declares, the disappointment clear in her voice without you having to look at her face.

“No, I left willingly.” You cross your arms in bold defiance, but your eyes aren’t as brave as they duck from your roommate’s narrow gaze, taking shelter instead at the sight of her black coated nails against the white door. 

You aren’t sure why you even bother denying it. It’s not like your little trysts with Yukhei were ever a secret, especially to your best friends. Maybe you’re still a bit sensitive from your conversation with Kun. Maybe it was all you could think of as you walked from the frat house to the residence hall, your skin clad in last night’s clothes, the morning breeze stroking your bare shoulders and pushing the hair away from your face like it was consoling you on a walk that no longer brought you shame but a slight aching pain in your chest. 

Or maybe you just really, really hate mornings.

Lucky for you, Reiko isn’t a big fan of them either. She rolls her eyes sharp as her catty eyeliner and steps back, abandoning the topic and motioning for you to come in. You do just that, and with a few steps in you catch a waft of the only forgivable thing about these mornings: Reiko’s banana oatmeal pancakes. 

You stop in your tracks and inhale deeply. The scent swirls in the shared space that’s just big enough for three people, sweet and warm and shooting straight to your belly. 

“That smells so good,” you breathe, hands clasped in front of you.

“I made Nutella syrup too.” You turn to look at your roommate like she’s the eighth wonder, making kissy faces and stretching your arms wide before she swats you away. “Hell no. I don’t know where those hands and lips have been.”

“They’ve been—”

“And I don’t want to know.” She scrunches her nose, index finger jabbing your shoulder to push you back. You frown but quickly drop it as soon as you turn around, prancing your way to the dining table.

You sit before one of the three identical plates perched on the table. Each had pancakes stacked haphazardly on top, with an off-center scoop of butter and round banana slices sprinkled like they were flung on the plate without a care, but you know better than that. You’ve known Reiko since high school, long enough to know how she ended up building her cold exterior and long enough to know where she hid the cracks, peeks of her loving nature showing in bits and pieces like the extra walnuts dotting your plate.

She takes a seat next to you, tipping the syrup boat above your plate. You watch the quick zigzags of chocolate she makes, thinking of how easily you could clean out the three pieces on your plate in under ten minutes. You peek at Reiko’s food that had a few bites taken out already and then at the other stack of pancakes next to it, untouched and tempting, the seat before it vacant.

“Where’s Milly?” you ask, half in hope for spare pancakes and half in concern for the de facto baby of your trio.

“I’m supposed to ask you that,” she answers. “Didn’t you see each other?”

“At Pikes?” You look at Reiko, confused. “No. Why would she be there?”

Reiko blinks at you twice before shrugging her shoulders. “Well, why were you there?”

You raise an eyebrow, a little peeved that she brought it up again. She knows why you were there, and you aren’t fond of having to say it out loud. “I was there for a—” 

Booty call. 

Your expression slackens, the implication dawning on you. “You’re fucking with me.” 

“That’s Yukhei’s job,” she shoots back, “and in more ways than one.” Your mind is too busy wrapping itself around the news to recognize her jab.

“Milly? Our Milly?” This is the same Milly who wore a purity ring throughout high school. Even when she took it off before college, she swore it was a size issue and kept it as a pendant, wearing the necklace under her clothes ever since. To you, this new information is simply impossible. “How do you know she’s messing around with a Pike?”

Reiko puts her fork down, answering between chews. “She’s been seeing one for a few weeks now. Hasn’t she told you yet?”

You pout, shaking your head no. “But she told you…”

“To be fair, she didn’t tell me,” Reiko continues. “I just caught them sucking face at a vacant lecture hall.”

“No way.” Your eyes grow wide, Reiko shrugging at you as she downs a glass of water like a shot. “No fucking way.”

“I couldn’t believe it either. I had a stare contest with the guy before he asked ‘if I may kindly leave the area and lock the door behind me.’” She snorts, drawing air quotations with her fingers. “Milly didn’t even budge. She was on his lap and just turned away from me like snap!” The sharp sound of her fingers making you twitch in your seat. “She didn’t even make a move to get off the guy, just froze in place.”

“I probably would’ve done the same,” you mumble, grimacing from secondhand embarrassment. “But which guy was it?”

Reiko opens her mouth, looking up to the ceiling with her eyes narrowed in thought before clicking her tongue and giving up. “The pretty one.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, that doesn’t exactly narrow it down.”

“The blonde one?” she tries.

“Those boys dye their hair every two hours.” It’s a wonder that none of them are balding yet. “Don’t you know his name?”

Reiko sighs, finger running along the rim of her glass. “You know I’m shit with names.” She is. It took her the whole freshman year with your sporadic crying spells before she could confidently switch from “that motherfucker” to “Yukhei.”

A knock on the door steals your attention, and you give each other a short glance before getting up to check who it was.

“Speak of the devil,” Reiko mutters, looking through the peephole. 

“It’s the guy?”

Reiko stares at you like you’re stupid. “No, it’s Milly.”

You push her aside, anticipation getting the better of you as you undo the locks and latches and swing the door open.

There she is, wide-eyed like she wasn’t expecting her own roommate to open the door that she knocked on. Perfectly on brand for Milly until your eyes trail lower to the black and gold jacket that’s wrapped around her shoulders, Greek letters emblazoned on its right side. Pi Kappa Lambda. 

That definitely isn’t her usual style.

Your gaze shifts back up to Milly’s face, her eyes not quite reaching yours as her hand pulls tighter to close the garment around her. You don’t notice your jaw dropping until Reiko smacks it closed for you, pulling both you and Milly inside.

You all plop down on the couch with Milly sandwiched in between. “Who is it?” you ask her. Your mind is already running miles as you grab on the jacket, trying to check the inside label that should have a name embroidered, making Milly squirm away from you and lean on Reiko. You let go, arms crossing in front of you. “Well it can’t be Kun because he has a girl. Sicheng is married to his books. Ten isn’t allowed back into the house yet. Yukhei is…”

Yukhei is what, exactly? Yours? Definitely not, but it was you on his bed last night so that should be logic enough to rule him out, right? 

You know Milly would never, but your mind is now stuck on the fact that you aren’t, and probably never will be, exclusive with Yukhei. Your eyebrows inch closer, vision out of focus as you speculate, the gold letters on black fabric blurring out to a puddle in your eyes before Milly breaks your train of thought.

“It’s Dejun.” Your head snaps up but you’re still distracted, slow to put a face to the name. 

Dejun… “Xiao Dejun?” Milly nods. You exhale, relief showing in the sag of your shoulders. Dejun is good, as far as you know. He’s a history major in your year and an official in the Red Cross council of your university. In hindsight, that’s probably how Milly met him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you ask, gaze narrow as Milly shrinks even deeper into the jacket.

“I assumed Reiko would have told you…” she says, her other hand fiddling with the edge of her skirt.

“Oh, so it’s my fault now?” Reiko peeks over Milly’s shoulder, not looking too happy to be dragged into the narrative.

Milly shoots her an awkward peace sign before facing you again. “I guess I just felt a little weird about it. They’re kind of your boys in a sense.”

“What?” Your eyebrows shoot up at her answer. “It’s not like I’m dating all of them.”

“She’s not dating any of them,” Reiko corrects. You send a glare her way as she mouths a “sorry,” making a zipping motion with her fingers across her mouth.

“I know, but you’re still quite close to them, and Dejun and I aren’t exactly… open yet,” Milly says.

“You mean he’s keeping you a secret?” Reiko asks, suddenly interested in the conversation.

“It’s not like you think!” Milly waves a frantic hand in the air. “You know girls aren’t allowed in the house.”

You lift a finger to your face. “Then what the hell am I?”

“The exception,” she says, pointing a finger gun at you while you remain expressionless, wholly unimpressed. It isn’t like the other boys never bring girls in. “Okay, fine. To be honest, I just don’t wanna get kicked out in the mornings, so we’re trying to keep it hush-hush from Kun and everyone else.”

You feel the itch to defend yourself at the mention of getting kicked out, but you bite the words down. “How did you get out then?” You know the housing has several doors, but they’re all near rooms and common spaces. With barely any time that the house is empty, it’s a hard feat to enter or exit unnoticed, and you know this for a fact because you’ve tried.

Milly gives you an unbothered shrug. “I went through his window.” She smiles as silence hangs in the air, her lips tugging down the longer your eyes stay trained on her. “What?”

“You went through the window,” Reiko whispers, and then a bit louder “You went… through the window?” 

“Yes?”

“Oh god.” Reiko drops her face onto her palms, grumbling. “You don't even get the dignity of using the front door.” 

“Sorry,” Milly frowns. “It’s only temporary though!”

You clear your throat, trying not to laugh at the image of Milly stumbling down their high windows in her pleated skirt, Sunday blouse, and this. You run your hand down the sleeve of the letterman. “He must be pretty serious with you. Those guys are strangely territorial with their Greek jackets.”

“Honestly, Dejun was asking for it back.” Milly pauses, letting go of her grip on the jacket, tugging it downwards. “And I told him sure, if he could give me my virginity back too.”

Your ears don’t register her words as fast as your eyes pick up the dark red and purple marks on her neck and collarbones, and you would’ve heard Reiko suck in the sharpest breath if you weren’t already shrieking to the high heavens.

“Oh my god!” You shake Milly by the shoulders, catching sight of a particularly pronounced bite mark on her left shoulder. “Oh my fucking god! Milly! How do you feel!” Everything you have is coming out in shouts, and Reiko on the other hand is jaw-slack speechless.

“I feel… nice,” Milly says with a small smile gradually growing wider. “I was a bit scared because everyone says it’ll hurt and that it won’t be any good the first time, but he was…” she pauses, biting on her lip like she’s fighting back giggles. “He was good. Like really good.” 

“Wait, but what about your…?” you trail off, wagging your digits in front of her and pointing at the ring finger.

“Oh! Oh that.” Her hand dives into her blouse, fishing out the gleam of silver that still hung on her neck. “He told me to keep it on.”

“While you…?” Milly nods, luring you right back into the den of high school kiss and tell. You squeal and smack each other’s arms, delirious laughter pouring into the air.

Meanwhile, Reiko keeps brushing Milly’s hair back, surveying all the evidence she brought home from last night. “Are you sure you’re okay?” She frowns, tapping tentatively on the bruised skin. “This doesn’t look like a gentle first time. I think that boy was trying to eat you.”

“Uh, he was, but I told him I wasn’t ready for that yet—ow!”

“That is not what I meant!”

“I’m sorry!”

Their little altercation fades to the background as you rush back to the dining table, grabbing the pancakes that you thankfully left intact. You reach for the chocolate syrup but stop as you see the translucent squeeze bottle right next to it. 

Red. Appropriate for the occasion. Milly wouldn’t mind strawberry syrup, would she?

It’s too late for hesitation as you squeeze a shaky letter V on the pancakes, enclosing it in an equally unstable circle. “V-card…” and with a diagonal slash for the final touch, “...declined.” You admire it for a few seconds, smiling in satisfaction before scouring the drawers for the gas lighter.

Reiko is already gelling Milly’s neck up with aloe vera when you return, watching you as you set the plate down and grab the scented candle from the coffee table. After lighting it up, you hold it with both hands in front of Milly.

“Blow!” you say.

“Sorry?” Milly’s round eyes look up at you in equal parts of shock and confusion, and you wiggle the warm cup in your hand to coax the words out of her. “Oh, sorry, you meant blow the candle.” You burst into laughter, realizing why she looked so puzzled.

“God, how is she already so corrupted?” Reiko groans as Milly blows the flame out. “There goes the last pure presence we had in this house.”

“Did I disappoint you?” Milly asks, eyes fixed on Reiko’s hand as she fanned the smoke away.

You sigh, setting the candle down. If Reiko is ironclad warship armor, Milly is porcelain. You flick Reiko’s forehead, a reminder for her to tone it down, and she flips you the bird before turning her attention back to Milly.

“Of course not! Virginity is a construct. You’re still you.” She taps the pads of her fingers lightly on Milly’s cheek. “And no one has the right to get mad over the choices you make for your own body, not anyone, and not me—unless you were stupid enough not to use protection.” Reiko flashes Milly a reassuring smile, her chuckles at the end of her sentence slowly dying out as Milly stays quiet, blinking.

“What protection?” Milly asks, eyes shifting between you and Reiko.

Your mouth drops open, and within the next two seconds Reiko has her hand twisted around Milly’s hair. “Bitch, I swear on all things holy—” You try to grab Reiko off of her but it only makes the pull harder. You let go, wincing at Milly’s piercing screams.

“Ouch! Stop! I’m kidding! I’m not that clueless,” Milly whines, Reiko’s fingers loosening their purchase on her strands.

“Not clueless, but dumb enough to let yourself get wrecked right before a Monday,” Reiko says, fixing Milly’s hair and carding her silent apology with gentle fingers on her scalp. Milly mumbles another “sorry” with a frown still painted on her face.

“At least you’re lucky the weather’s been getting chilly. No one’s gonna question a turtleneck,” you say, Reiko humming in agreement before getting up and heading to the fridge. 

“I’m gonna get some ice.”

“Thank you!” Milly shouts after her before turning back to look at you. “And I’m really sorry.”

You sigh, rubbing a finger on your temple. “Milly, you need to stop apologizing for existing.” She’s always too generous on the “sorry’s.” She once apologized for “breathing too loud” when Jennie from freshman theology pointed it out. “What even for?”

She tucks her hair behind her ears before pulling you down on the couch next to her, holding both your hands in hers. “Well, for one, because I didn’t tell you. But mostly because you and Yukhei… it’s been rough for you,” you open your mouth to protest, “and don’t try to deny it! I know,” and you close it right back up. “Now with me and Dejun, it all happened so fast and so suddenly and it’s like I’m shoving it all up on your face and I’m sorry because it’s been so long for you and honestly I think I should have at least waited until you—”

You wrangle your hands free and squeeze her cheeks between your palms, effectively cutting her off. Chuckling at her wide eyes and puckered lips, you shake your head. She really just said Sorry for my success! Or maybe what she really meant was Sorry for your failure. Either way, this is Milly. She’s truly sorry for you, and although you don’t quite like the feeling, you could never paint her words with a malice you know isn’t there. 

“You’re being dumb. You’re not responsible for my relationships,” or lack thereof, “and besides, I’m nothing but happy for you.” You see her eyes light back up so quick that it brings a smile to your face. You’ll just have to deal with your own feelings later. For now, you grab the plate off the coffee table and hand it to her. “Now shut up and have your guilt-free virginity cake.” She smiles back at you, dropping a swift kiss to your cheek before taking the fork in hand.

Reiko comes back just as Milly is cutting out her first slice. “Where’d you get the strawberry?” she asks.

You scrunch your eyebrows at her. “It was on the table.” Reiko looks just as confused as you are, your stare down only broken off by a retching sound coming from Milly who just spit the chewed up pancake in her hand.

“Is this freaking ketchup?”

* * *

“Extra ketchup?” 

Milly grimaces at Yangyang from the opposite side of the McDonald’s counter, dismissing his offer with a shake of her head. “No thanks. I don’t think I’ll be having any ketchup for a while,” she says, fingers toying with her high collar.

“I’ll take it!” Ten seems to bounce out from thin air, making it to Milly’s side in no time and snatching the packets out of Yangyang’s grip, leaving the boy blinking at his empty hand before shrugging and going back to assembling the rest of your order.

You watch as Yangyang bags your Big Mac and fries, the image of him doing the same thing with your nuggets a few weeks ago at Wendy’s flashing through your mind. “Why do I keep seeing you everywhere?”

“Really?” He pauses with your Green Apple McFloat in hand, eyeing you with a curious glint. “Even in your dreams?”

You pretend to barf before grabbing the cold cup, stabbing it with the straw without a hint of finesse, not quite getting the center of the lid until you finally landed it right with a pop.

Yangyang whistles low. “You’re an aggressive one,” he says, leaning a little closer to you, “but I like that.”

“You’re an aggressive one,” Reiko rings out from beside you, pulling you a step away from the counter. “What would your brother think if he saw you?” Yangyang has no biological brothers, but no one asks. They all know she’s referring to the frat, to you and Yukhei.

Yangyang tips his head to the side. “Probably either ‘good job’ or ‘I taught him well.’” Your mouth twitches at his answer, but you don’t say anything, and neither does anyone else. Yangyang hands you the brown bag and with that, all orders are complete. “Is there anything else you need?”

Emotional security, make it large, and with a regular peace of mind.

Ten waves an empty red packet in one hand. “Yeah, can I have more ketchup?”

“I didn’t know Yangyang worked there too,” you say a few minutes later. The four of you are out in the quad, cutting across campus on your way to your first class of the week. With everyone collectively focused on wolfing down breakfast, you’re the first to break silence, although with a mouth full of burger the words are hardly recognizable.

“Yangyang works there, period. No need for the ‘too,’” Ten answers, able to work out your gibberish. “He isn’t holding a lot of jobs. He just gets fired every three days.”

“That’s actually kinda impressive,” Reiko muses, scooping into her caramel sundae. 

“Yeah, well his last boss wasn’t too impressed when he managed to break the espresso machine less than an hour into his first day,” Ten says.

Milly shakes her cartoon of fries next to you, urging you to nab a few pieces before she jumps into the conversation. “Why does he even need a job, anyway?”

“Something about his dad wanting him to ‘learn responsibility.’ Not working too well if you ask me,” Ten says, taking a handful of fries from the carton just as Milly was pulling it back, her little pout not escaping you. 

“And what about you?” Reiko asks, gaze on Ten. “What’s keeping you alive while you’re still persona non grata at Pikes?”

Ten rolls his eyes. He’s on academic probation, and Pikes has a rule that if you can’t maintain a good academic standing, you’re not allowed in the house. “I think my bottomless bank account is more than enough.”

“You mean your dad’s bottomless bank account,” Reiko says.

“It’s mine once he croaks. I like to look ahead.”

“You hate him that much?”

“I mean, if the old man could just leave me be with my arts degree, I wouldn’t be stuck and miserable with this biology minor,” he explains, taking a big bite out of his chicken sandwich. “And I wouldn’t be flunking, barred from the house, and clinging to these two for dear life.” He wraps one arm around your shoulder and the other on Milly’s.

“Then just drop the minor,” Reiko shrugs. She just shifted out of biology herself, starting fresh in business management this year.

“It’s not that easy,” Ten says. Reiko raises an eyebrow but doesn’t push it. “When I get that bag though, you’re both getting a building each,” he says, pulling your hair and pinching Milly’s cheek. 

Reiko coughs from the end of your four-person line. “Aren’t you forgetting someone here?”

“I don’t recall you ever helping me with my lab sheets this month.”

“Because I’m a business major now?” she protests.

“You chose the wrong path, not my problem.” Ten shrugs, speeding up and stringing you along as the management building came into view.

You drop Reiko all the way to her room before the three of you head for your shared physiology class. You’ve been accompanying her to her first class since the semester started although she never asked. You know she’d never admit to the new setting and faces making her cold stone nerves rush, but her hand squeezing your wrist right until the door tells a different story. 

“See you, losers,” she waves you off.

On your way out, your eyes wander down the walls. Upperclassmen used to tell you in freshman orientation that every building on campus has a personality. Like the science building, it’s old and worn but spotless and upfront, with linoleum floors that stretch long like a hospital wing, the scent of isopropyl from the labs strong and offensive, but gradually fading into a familiarity with your senses over time. 

The management building is a bit more… intimidating. Stark white, with ceiling high windows cut in slanted rectangles, steep staircases and shiny tiles that go clack no matter how light your steps are. It’s almost like it spared you no place to hide, like the walls give their full attention to anyone who walks inside.

And it isn’t just the walls staring at the boy at the entrance.

Your eyes catch him by chance. Probably the red hair, you think as you watch him tap his ID on the scanner. You linger on the strong line of his jaw, and when he lifts his head, you find his gaze is just as strong too. 

Or maybe that’s just because his eyes are staring right back at you.

You avert your gaze, grabbing at Milly’s sleeve and walking a little bit faster. It takes a few moments for you to realize that Ten is already speeding ahead of you, beelining towards the mystery guy.

“Hendery! You’re back! Hey, Hendery!”

You could tell that the guy—Hendery—hears him clear as day, but also clearly wants to avoid any interaction, his walk a little awkward as he leans to one side. Ten is quick to catch on though, running for a full speed collision, and you giggle as you watch the guy’s expression waver and stiffen when he’s engulfed in a hug. 

You decide then that no one could ever be intimidating, not when Ten is around to make them panic.

The panic-inducer in question waves you over, and you walk with Milly to the spot where he’s holding the red-haired boy hostage. Hendery covers his eyes with a hand while Ten’s arms are squeezed around him, head lying shamelessly on his chest.

“Hendery,” Ten says, although with his cheek squished it came out more of a Hendwey, “these are my friends. That’s Milly…” he drones on although no further words make it through to you. Hendery pulls his hand down from his face, and when his eyes lock on yours, it feels as if the air between you is frozen solid. He’s striking from afar, but up close you could see just how deep the brown of his eyes are, and as much as it’s overwhelming, you can’t help but stare.

“Hey! Listen to me,” Ten whines, breaking the trance. Hendery looks down, jumping a bit in surprise from how close their faces are. You snort at his reaction, and he shifts his eyes back to you, a trace of a smile on his lips and his eyebrow raised in amusement making you look at Ten instead.

“Did you hear me? Were you listening?” Hendery nods. “What are their names?” Ten points a finger between you and Milly, but your focus is trained on the way Hendery speaks. Your eyes follow his moving lips, tracing the lines they draw of your name. He says it twice, and you don’t think you’ve ever heard your name spoken so carefully. Like it’s a stranger to his tongue. Like it’s new and he’s practicing. Like he wants to get it perfectly when he says it again.

Say it again.

“Hello?” Ten snaps his fingers at your face. “Why is everyone so out of it today? It’s only morning. First period doesn’t even start in,” he checks the time on his phone, “four minutes. Holy fuck, let’s go.” He grabs the person closest to him, Milly, and starts sprinting away.

“Shit,” you mutter, running off to the exit before you pull on the brakes, the soles of your shoes skidding on tile as you pivot around. You find him still standing at the same spot, still looking at you. It feels… pleasant, somehow. “Nice to meet you!” you shout.

He waves a hand in the air. “You too,” he answers, and when he shouts your name at the end, you take comfort in the thought that you must be too far for him to see the shiver he coursed through you.

Three flights of stairs and seven minutes later, you’re finally sitting at the lecture hall, without breath and with your first tardy mark for physiology.

“He’s… cute,” Milly says, still panting next to you.

You give her a quizzical look, leaning in closer so you can whisper. “He is, but you have a Dejun.”

“Yeah, and you have a Yukhei,” she points out, like it’s the most obvious thing. The gospel truth. And in that moment, you let yourself believe. You smile, flipping your notebook to an empty page, and you let her have the last word.

* * *

In the evening you’re sitting on the floor, Chinese takeout on the coffee table and Community playing on TV. You’ve successfully stolen three of Milly’s wontons, and Reiko is none the wiser with a quarter of her chow mein already taking a trip down your tummy. You take a few more stealthy bites, chalking it up in your conscience as your roommates’ payment for stealing your phone. They’re both hunched over the small screen in steady concentration, occasional “ooh’s” and “ahh’s” gliding through the air, most of them from Milly.

“Aren’t you done yet?” you ask, the question hanging unanswered.

Half the episode is already through, and frankly you aren’t much at ease knowing they’re stalking Hendery on Instagram using your account. “But my phone’s still charging!” was Milly’s excuse and Reiko doesn’t even have an Instagram, so you had to settle for a few violent threats over their head in case they try anything funny or “accidentally” like one of his old photos.

“Oh!” Milly’s voice has you scrambling around the table, thinking one of those two scenarios is already playing out in reality. You heave a sigh when you find that they’re still looking at photos, and so far, none of the hearts are colored in red.

The only thing you got out of Ten after physiology was that Hendery’s in Pikes too, and a legacy nonetheless, but he had to rush off to his animation class without so much as an explanation as to why you’ve never seen Hendery at the frat house before. That’s how Milly decided tonight’s FBI agenda.

“Here it is,” she says, and your pulse speeds up when her two fingers land on the screen to zoom in. You mutter a “be careful” under your breath. She’s zooming in on Hendery in a group photo, and then on the banner that says “U-Ex” with what seems to be Chinese print underneath.

You’re not sure what you’re supposed to be looking at. “Are you expecting me to read that, or…?” Your eyes flicker between Milly and Reiko.

“Don’t look at me. I’m Japanese,” Reiko speaks up, raising her palms out in front of her.

Milly sighs. “He was in last year’s exchange program. That’s probably why we haven’t seen him before.” She lifts her hand from the screen and the photo zooms out. You make a move to retrieve your phone, but Reiko slaps your wrist away.

“Wait,” Reiko says, squinting. “I know her.” She points a finger at one of the girls in the group. “She just joined one of my classes today. What was her name again…” Reiko lets go of the phone, but Milly pulls it away before you could even reach for it.

“Raya?” Milly asks.

“No.”

“Hannah?” Reiko shakes her head.

“Sunny?”

“Yes!” Reiko blurts, snapping her fingers. “How’d you know though?”

Milly flips the phone to show a new profile on display, @sunnydaze. “Hendery’s photo didn’t have any tags, and he doesn’t even put captions on any of his posts, so I checked the comments—”

“And you found her there?” you interrupt, eager to just have your phone back.

“No, he actually had the replies turned off.” You pinch the bridge of your nose. “So I checked the likes instead—”

“And that’s where you found her,” Reiko says.

“No!” Milly lifts a finger up to Reiko’s lips, eyes wide and frustrated. “I checked the likes and tried to look for a face I can recognize from the photo, and I saw one of the guys who held up the banner, the one on the right side—”

“Why is my chow mein already half-eaten?” Reiko asks, and suddenly Milly’s story was five times more interesting to you.

“—so I went to his profile, scrolled down a bit, found an airport photo from Saturday that actually had tags but she wasn’t there either. What it did have was a caption though, and he used the hashtag #UEx_Fudan so I pressed on that and went through the first few posts from girls and voila!” 

Reiko slow claps from the side while Milly takes a bow, handing over your phone. 

“Tell me again why we didn’t just ask Dejun?” you grumble. 

“I don’t want him to think I’m interested in other guys,” Milly answers. “Why didn’t you ask?”

Your mind immediately drifts to the same answer, but you don’t say anything. You’re embarrassed to admit you’re holding out for Yukhei, just in case.

“She’s pretty,” you say, turning your attention to Sunny’s Instagram profile instead. You click on the mutual followers you had. The expanded list is longer than you expected, but you don’t find a @lucas_xx444 and that’s somehow comforting.

“Yeah, she’s real pretty,” Reiko agrees. “And that’s apparently reason enough for everyone to fuss over her so much.” She already sounds like she has a bone to pick with Sunny, but that’s just how Reiko is with most people. “Like seriously? Did she have to catch up with half the females in the department at the washroom sink of all places? I just wanted to wash my damn hands.”

Her rant was punctuated with the sound of a Snapchat notification coming from your phone, and then another, and then another. Like a programmed response, Milly twists around to peek over your shoulder but you push her face away with your hand.

> **Yukhei**
> 
> >> hi baby
> 
> >> come over?
> 
> >> **View photo**

“What did he send?” Reiko’s question is laced in suspicion, and it almost escapes your notice how she already assumed who it’s from. 

You pull the phone closer to your face, leaning away from your friends. You let your heart race a few beats before pressing on view. The rush simmered down when the photo flashed on screen, mellowing into a warm feeling in your chest. It’s a close up of his face, chin resting on a pillow with a close-lipped smile resembling brackets.

“Show me,” Reiko demands.

“No.” You’re unable to wipe the grin off your face, stretching your arm further away.

“It’s a dick pic, isn’t it.”

“It’s not!” Her guess isn’t completely off the marks, though. You were half expecting it to be just that too, but this is a welcome surprise.

“Then show me!” She jumps up to grab for it, but you’re quick enough to press on lock before she could have the phone in her clutches.

“No. It’s for me.” You stick out your tongue, and there’s a flutter in your tummy as you mull over the words. It’s for you, the side of him only you get to see. You stand up and grab your phone back, typing a reply.

> **You**
> 
> >> 30 mins
> 
> >> i’m still having dinner with friends

It’s a lie. You betray the food that’s gone cold on the table, dashing instead to the shower.

“Are you going to Pikes?” Milly shouts after you. “I’m coming with!”

“Great,” Reiko says, still sprawled on the couch while Milly surveys the outfits in her closet. “You abandon me yet again for some asswipes.”

“Dejun is not an asswipe!” You could hear Milly’s shrill defense even from the shower.

“He’s a frat boy,” and just from her tone you could hear Reiko rolling her eyes.

* * *

“Can I step on your back?”

“No, Milly,” you whisper, voice stern. That is not the way you plan on breaking your back tonight.

You and Milly stand outside of the frat house, face to face with the notorious window. Seeing that the ledge reaches as high as your chest, you’re baffled at how she’s managed to get up on her own all this time.

She pouts at you and you rub your eyes, aggravated. You cup your hands together instead, palm over palm, and bend forward.

“Step here,” you say, to which she looks absolutely petrified. “Like the cheerleaders.”

She lifts a leg half-heartedly, hesitant, before dropping it back to the ground in a stomp. “Oh come on,” she huffs. “There’s a reason I never made it to cheer squad back in high school.” Finally, she gives up on the “surprise” and knocks on Dejun’s window. It slides open just a few seconds later, and at first you’re confused at the big smile that’s already painted on his face. But of course, who else would he be expecting at the window?

“Sweetie.” He leans down to kiss her, his hand cupping the back of Milly’s neck and pulling her up to her tiptoes. You count six seconds in your head before they break off. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Bet you weren’t expecting me either,” you say, stepping into view behind Milly.

“Jesus!” 

“No, just me.” You chuckle as Dejun rubs the back of his head, and Milly pinches your arm for making her boyfriend bang his head on the window frame.

“Hi,” he says to you after recovering, waving a timid hand in the air.

“Hello, lover boy. Now will you help me get her up because I, too, have an appointment two doors down from you,” you say, pointing a finger to your left.

Once you have Milly sitting by the ledge, Dejun hugging her from behind, you smile. They look cute.

“Use protection!” you whisper-shout as Milly steps into his room.

“What’s that?” Dejun asks. Your eyes blow wide, and they laugh and shut the window with a smack before you could react.

You walk to the front door, punching in the code with the speed of muscle memory: 190117. There’s the low thumping of music when you step in, not quite the bass-boosted roof shakers they play at parties. Most of them are probably gathered in the game room, one hallway down where you could hear the muffled peals of laughter.

“You’re back again.”

“Christ!” You jump back, hitting your elbow on the door handle, lightning shooting up your arm. The karmic energy in the universe must be very active tonight. “God, Sicheng. Make a noise, will you?” You rub on your elbow, a scowl hanging on your lips.

He stares at you with soulless eyes, lifting a hand and curling his fingers in. “Rawr.” He’s wearing matching gray pajamas that blend into the couch he’s lying on, a book spread open on his chest. Dream of the Red Chamber.

“He’s in his room,” he says, yawning at the end of his short sentence, lifting the book up between his thumb and forefinger. You decide he’s lost the little interest he had of your presence, and you turn down the hall without answering.

You couldn’t help yourself when you’re faced with the door to Dejun’s bedroom, checking left and right if there’s any other presence in the hallway before pushing your ear up on the wood. You’re met with silence, and you slap yourself on the cheek before you could slip into disappointment. It would’ve been worse if you did hear anything.

You go further down the hall, two doors down. You stop in front of his door, running your hands through your torso, shimmying your shorts up your waist, smoothing down your hair. Pre-link jitters.

Your fingers are familiar with the cold metal of the doorknob, but your insides still feel as soupy as the first time you stumbled into Yukhei’s room. You shake your head, swallowing the feeling down. Your hand is met with resistance when you turn the knob. You jiggle it a few times, eyebrows creased, before knocking on the door. It’s locked. That’s… new.

It feels like forever waiting outside, your foot tapping impatiently on the floorboards. Sicheng wasn’t fucking with you, was he? “He’s in his room,” he said. You poise your knuckles to knock again, but the door swings open before they can make contact.

Any previous trace of annoyance on your face melts off when you see him. He’s smiling, big eyes matching his grin, a towel draped on his neck catching rivulets of water from his hair, and he’s shirtless. You’ve seen him in less, but there’s no denying the way your throat dries up at the sight.

He doesn’t bother with a hello, sneaking a hand to your lower back and pulling you inside, locking the door behind you. Your blood rushes, his actions feeling more hasty than usual tonight. You squeak when he leans down and picks you up swiftly in his arms. Within two strides he makes it to the bed and experience tells you to brace yourself, knowing how much he liked to use his strength and throw you around.

Your back lands on the soft mattress when he drops you. You kick your shoes off before he kneels on the bed, his broad shoulders towering over you, his arms caging you in. The anticipation courses through your veins, and you feel a dizzying electricity in your palms and your toes as he leans down close, so close that you could close the gaps between your lips if you just nudge your head a bit.

“Hi,” he whispers, and his voice flows through you like warm light. You would be mad if you still had the wits on you. He can’t expect you to exchange niceties when he’s already taken your breath, when he’s already snug between your legs. He doesn’t wait for your response, but you’re even more puzzled by what he says next.

“Avatar or friends?” he asks. You blink at him, not processing the sudden question.

“Avatar,” he repeats, sitting up and creating space between you that you don’t quite like, that makes you want to chase after him, “or F.R.I.E.N.D.S.?” He points to the laptop in one corner of the bed that you didn’t even notice was there until now. It’s resting against the wall, Netflix flashed on screen, and you’ve never felt more confused in your life.

It was clear he was waiting for your answer, though, so you rack your brain for a response. “Avatar, as in the blue guys…?”

“Avatar as in the guy with a blue arrow,” he answers with a goofy smile, tracing and arrow on his head.

“Um. Okay. Avatar, then.”

He slides into the space next to you, dragging the laptop with him and fluffing the pillows behind you. He lies back down on the bed, and you don’t question it when he pulls you in, resting your head on his chest as the voice over introduction starts playing.

It takes until episode three and two packs of gummy bears before you bring it up again. “Yukhei? What’s going on?”

He looks down at you, smiling as your eyes meet. “Why? Were you expecting something else?”

You roll your eyes, gesturing to the laptop and the mess of snacks around you. “Well I wasn’t expecting this.”

He shrugs, eyes going back to the screen. “I just wanted to hang out.”

“Hang out,” you parrot. He nods. “Hang out and…?”

He sighs. “Watch. Talk. Sit next to you.” He closes the laptop and sets it aside. He slides lower on the bed, lifting your shirt up to expose your tummy to the cold air, making you gasp. “And cuddle.” Your eyes grow wide. “But only if you let me, beautiful.”

You watch, speechless as he littered butterfly kisses on your soft skin, one hand on the bunched up fabric of your shirt and the other sneaking up to card your fingers between his. It’s all so sudden, and you can’t stop your sharp intakes of air each time his lips land. Your hand is stiff in his hold, but you realize you still have another one and you hit the back of his head just hard enough to make him stop. “What the fuck are you doing?”

He lifts his gaze, offended. “I’m trying to be nice!”

“Yeah, but why?”

“You think I have an ulterior motive?”

“I think you’re being weird.”

“Bad weird?” He raises an eyebrow.

You frown. “No…”

“So let me be.” He rests his cheek down on your stomach, looking up at you with innocent eyes. “Just like we used to.” Just like you used to… before you started having sex? Back when you were still friends, when feelings weren’t involved, and nothing was too complicated to mention over breakfast?

“‘Used to’ was a long time ago,” you say. “Why all of a sudden? Honestly.”

He takes a deep breath, sitting up on the bed. “Kun talked to me this morning.”

You nod, waiting for him to continue.

“He said that if I wanted you around, I should try to be more… sweet with you.” His hand creeps up to yours again, and you let it rest there because it’s slow, that build-up of emotions within you. You need a few minutes in silence to figure out what it is, to recognize what humiliation looked like when it was sitting right in front of you.

Kun told him to do it, if he wanted to keep you around.

Well, you’re not staying around.

You pull your hand away from his like it burns, kicking your legs off the bed and getting up quick.

“Where are you going? Hey.” You pick your shoes off the floor, not even bothering to put them on your feet, and storm to the door. “Hey, come back. Baby, stop.”

You feel his hand on your wrist and you thrash it off. “Don’t fucking call me that! God.”

“What is up with you?” You can see the confusion contorting his features, and it irks you even more that he thinks you’re acting strange. You move for the door again, but his long strides beat you to it as he blocks your way. You try to push him to the side but he wouldn’t budge. “I thought you wanted this.” Only if he wanted it too. “Talk to me.”

“I never come here to talk, Yukhei, we just fuck.”

“Don’t say that.”

You push him harder, but he weaves an embrace around you and pulls you in tight to his chest. “Let go!” You grab at his arms, trying to get out. “I’m mad!” Your voice is cracking, and you’re afraid the dam is gonna break open before you make it out the door.

“I know, I can see that,” he says in a calm voice. “And I need you to tell me why.” You’re banging closed fists on his sides while his open palms run on your back, trying to soothe you though there’s a desperation to his motions. “Calm down. What’s wrong?”

You stop fighting when you feel the tears start to come down. You let your arms fall, and you don’t recognize your own voice when your cries break out into the air. He holds you there for a while, catching the tears on his shirt before he walks you over to the bed, slowly, like he knows you’re on the verge of breaking. He sits you on his lap and carries your weight, letting you hide your face on the crook of his neck.

You don’t know how long it takes for you to catch up with your emotions, but when you do, you gather it all up in your hands and let it rain down on him. You want him to understand, and the only way you think that’s possible is to try and hurt him as much as he’s hurt you. You lift your head from his shoulder, putting on your strongest face despite the red eyes, tear stained cheeks, and the rasp of your voice.

“If you’re gonna be an asshole, asshole, at least be good at it and don’t be so fucking confusing. And if you’re gonna use me, you have to choose if it’s my body or my feelings, because fuck you, you have to leave at least one of those for me, you selfish prick.” He opens his mouth to speak, but you don’t let him have the chance. He needs to listen. 

“Just this morning you didn’t give a shit about me and—and now you do this. I don’t want you to act like you care about me because you feel sorry.” You feel the tears building up again, and the hurt acts up again like a monster coming back to life from the depths of your chest. You look down, punctuating your words with your palm landing down on his chest, weak. “Be fucking responsible for once and don’t say anything tonight that you can’t tell me tomorrow. Don’t kiss me, or call me beautiful if you’re gonna go back to throwing me out like trash in the morning.”

And it was done. It’s like you’ve poured out your soul in your tears, but the empty feeling was better than being so close to bursting.

“I’m sorry,” he says, breaking the silence.

You don’t look at him yet, keeping your gaze down. “For what?”

“Letting us use each other. We were friends before anything else. I do care about you.” Just not in the way you want him to. “I didn’t realize this was how you felt, and I’m sorry. I should’ve seen it sooner, and I tried to fix that tonight but… things aren’t going as I planned.”

You lift your head, and it sucks to see him still so beautiful while you’re absolutely wrecked in his arms. “Stop playing with me.”

“I’m not. I really want to fix this friendship.” Friends. Your heart is too tired to protest. You have to start somewhere, don’t you?

You don’t leave that night. Somehow, as the minutes and hours ticked by in silence and apologies, your bodies slowly morphed into the tangle you find yourself in his bed now. Yukhei is fast asleep with his leg slung over you, your head resting on his outstretched arm, but you still couldn’t sleep. You prop yourself up on your elbow, slowly so he doesn’t wake, and reach for your phone.

It’s 1:00 in the morning, and you go through the notifications you missed. There’s a few texts from Reiko.

> **Reiko**
> 
> 11:00 pm
> 
> >> I take it neither of you are coming home tonight?
> 
> >> Because I’m eating the rest of this food
> 
> 11:30 pm
> 
> >> I left your food in the fridge
> 
> >> Just heat it up tmr because I’ll be out early

You text back a quick thank you, hoping she had her phone on silent at this time. You check your apps, and there’s a notification on Instagram. 

> **Follow requests**
> 
> Approve or ignore requests.
> 
> >> @i_m_hendery

The username surprises you. Your mind floods with every possible scenario, but mostly you’re thinking that either Milly or Reiko must have pressed something by mistake earlier.

You exhale slowly, pressing on approve and then following back. “God fucking dammit, Milly.” At least she won’t be dying a virgin when you kill her later.

You feel a stirring beside you. Yukhei still had his eyes closed, his arm blindly searching for you. “Come back…” he mumbles, finding purchase on your waist and pulling you back into him. “C’mere…”

You rest in his embrace, trying to get comfortable but it’s still strange. Though you’ve wanted it for so long, you can’t push away how it feels wrong. Uncomfortable, awkward like it was sticking out of the wrong places. But isn’t that how all new things are? Uncomfortable, until time wears it down and your skin learns to recognize how it feels. So you close your eyes, letting the newness coat you all over. You hope that by morning, you’ll find you’ve grown a little better into it.

**Author's Note:**

> if you came for the smut you just got catfished i’m sorry. and this one is split into parts too rip. if this goes the way it is in my head, it’ll likely have three parts. please peer pressure me into posting the next part asap <3


End file.
